Guilt By Association: Plot Twist!

Chapter Six take two | Main | Recap Alright, my pretties. I had to take a bit of a break because this book was driving me batty, but now I’m back and ready to go so let’s jump right in to chapter seven. Rhonda is pacing the clinic hallways nervously while waiting for the results of a pregnancy test. PLOT TWIST! She’s pregnant! Now, maybe it’s just me, but I’d think that a doctor would be a wee bit more careful in the not-having-unprotected-sex-with-your-serial-cheater-ex-boyfriend department. You know, the whole STD thing and all. Since Farris hasn’t given us anything about her lamenting her failed birth control pills or a broken condom (something I half expected, all the better to carry on the contraceptives-don’t-work meme), evidently we’re supposed to assume that she just wasn’t using anything. I’m not much of a fan of storylines that require us to assume that our characters are unnaturally flaky or uninformed. This is what happens when you set out to write a novel because you have a specific message in mind rather than allowing your characters to drive the story. Oh, and it’s specifically noted for us that she received a “How to Have Peace With God” pamphlet in the mail with the note, “We love you, Dr. Marsano. We pray for you every day. And for the babies.” As I’m sure this will pop up again later, from here on out I shall refer to it as Checkov’s Pamphlet. Switching gears, Author Avatar Lawyer Peter arrived in Seattle and is now being ferried to Bellingham by Colonel Control Freak. We get a bit about how the Creepy Colonel has learned from this whole pro-life activism thing that children are a blessing, and wishes he’d had more children if only military life hadn’t been so stressful.[…]

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Guilt by Association: Now illustrated with Freddie Prinze Jr. GIFs

Chapter 5 take one | Main | Interlude — Well kiddies, because I know you’re all dying to find out what happens next, I’ve decided to venture back in to be belly of the beast and power the rest of my way through chapter 5. I think I’m going to mix things up a bit since these long chapters of mind-numbing exposition aren’t lending themselves well to reaction comments as I read. Instead, I’ll write some overall impressions after I finish the chapter. Turns out I gave up on the chapter just before it got interesting. For one, now we know why Farris had Rhonda notice that Single Person Lisa wasn’t as attractive as Ginny (who I can’t really call “Handsy Ginny” anymore since she’s basically become a persona non grata in the story). It’s so that it’s plausible that Single Person Lisa is rapidly falling head over heels for Stephen, I mean Vince, who is way more handsome than any guy who has ever paid her attention. Did Michael Farris spend the better part of the ‘90s watching teen romcoms or something, because I swear that this hot-guy-chasing-movie-ugly-chick-for-nefarious-purposes trope is straight out of the sort of movie Freddie Prinze Jr. would have starred in. You know what, I’m just going to illustrate the rest of this post with GIFs from Freddie Prinze Jr. movies, because I can. By the way, wasn’t Bugle Boy an awfully dated fashion reference by the late ‘90s? Because Farris specifically notes that Stephen, I mean, Vince is wearing a sport coat and white Bugle Boy shirt. Just another anachronism, like him apparently being unaware that cappuccinos were a thing outside of Seattle by the time his book was written. Anyway, Vince as Stephen is trying to infiltrate the college students so he can radicalize them[…]

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